Art: [noun] a superior skill that you can learn by study and practice and observation
Sincerity: [noun] a quality of naturalness and simplicity ; the quality of being open and truthful; not deceitful or hypocritical
Sincerity is a key element in the interpersonal relationships and communication. It’s only with sincerity can one TRULY click and integrate him/herself into the world of others. Nobody likes being lied to. We all delight in the truth. No doubt a person may lie with flattery and make one happy for awhile. But sooner or latter, the hypocrisy shows and the relationship will be broken.
As the saying goes, honesty is the best policy. Honesty is the solid foundation upon which a sturdy platform is established for relationships to grow. Falsity and lies are then like floating platforms. It’s wobbly and unsteady. When put to the test, it flips and flops and lands the owner into trouble!
So then, since sincerity is so important in our successes in relationships with others, how do we learn it? Can it even be taught?
Unfortunately, to many, sincerity is an extremely abstract concept. Despite it’s simplistic definition from the dictionary, I believe many people receiving so much information from so many sources that many don’t even know what they really think and feel anymore! In fact, many don’t even know what to believe in the age where the mass media and our schools are bombarding us with so much information on how we should think and feel!
So how do we differentiate what’s real and what is not to us? In it’s simplest sense, one can begin by seeking from within. For example, consider some of the following:
What are your values and beliefs?
What are the things that are important to you?
What are the things that delight you and what upsets you? What’s the range of acceptability of standards – expectations on yourself and others?
How strongly do you believe in those standards?
Have you been following up on achieving those standards? Have you been working hard on them?
(No, don’t even think about what others think about you. The focus is on you and only on you! Recall my post on Self Love – How well we treat others are a direct reflection of how well we treat ourselves! So forget about others for awhile and concentrate on knowing yourself better!)
Remember, these are values and beliefs! Not material and physical benefits that you can enjoy, but values and beliefs that define you as a person!
For example, one my values and beliefs in life is to actively become a better person, through continuous growth, learning and understanding. I believe that there are many challenges in life that cannot be solved based on our current capabilities, and through active learning, these puts me in a better position to handle those challenges. And I believe the skills that I learned would be of value to people who’ve similar interest in bettering themselves where communication and public speaking is concerned!
What’re my values:
1) Continuous learning
2) Self Growth
What’re my beliefs?
1) Learning makes me a better person
2) I can help make a difference in other people’s lives through sharing
3) My skills are valuable etc
These are some examples of my beliefs. And now that I’m fully aware of them, I’m allowed to actively pursue them during my contacts with people! Heck, I’m even doing it now!
Sincerity is a state of being. Unfortunately, these states cannot be taught effectively with mere words – they can only be achieved through experience. But hey, I’ve already given you some insights on how to pursue it! So at least there’s a start!
Sincerity is a solid foundation. It’s the truth and cannot be defeated. Flattery, lies and hypocrisy are hollow. You can built on them. But with time they would cave in. So why go through all the trouble building an a shell/mask that wouldn’t last?
Now then, go think about what are some of the things are deeply important to YOU! Tell yourself, you’re going to actively pursue it! What are some of the things that matter to you deeply in communication and inter-personal relationships? Tell yourself, you’re going to be true!
Let everything come from the bottom of your heart and soul! Do that with tact and diplomacy, and I will guarantee you success with people!