“Love your neighbour as yourself” – Old Testament – Judaism and Christianity
“No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for
himself” – Islam
“Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful…
Make thine own self the measure of the others, and so abstain from causing hurt to
A state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?” – Buddhism
“This is sum of duty: Do naught unto others that which would cause you pain if done
One should not behave towards others in a way that is disagreeable to oneself…” – Hinduism
“Cherish reciprocal benevolence, which will make you as anxious for another’s welfare as your own” – Aristippus
“We should conduct ourselves toward others as we would have them act toward us.” – Aristotle
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – Confucius
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It would appear to me that, despite their differences, the teachings of some of world’s major religions and greatest philosophers seem to agree on one thing when it comes to interpersonal relationships: Treat others as you would treat yourself.
Treat everyone as well as you were to treat yourself. Hurt no one as one wouldn’t hurt oneself, and take care of others as you would take care of yourself. It is safe to say then that how well we treat people is directly related to how well treat ourselves.
So, in our dealings with other people, some key question on how well are we treating ourselves must be answered:
1 ) Do I indulge myself as much as I sacrifice for others?
2 ) Do I forgive myself as much as I forgive others?
3 ) What makes me happy/excited/smile?
4 ) What makes me upset/depressed/frown?
5 ) What are the things that interest me? What do I like?
6 ) What are the things that turn me off? What don’t I like?
7 ) What are my values?
8 ) What are the things in life that drives me?
9 ) If there’s one thing in life that’d I die for, what would it be?
10) Is it fair to expect all these from others? Is it fair to expect all these from me?
These questions are mainly personal. But they will have a large bearing on how we relate to others. Only when we become people of substance, people who are capable of loving ourselves can we truly deal effectively with others. Otherwise, it’s hard to offer others more when treating ourselves so lowly.
Now having said these, it should be noted that I’m not perpetuating self-centredness or justifying a “me-first, all-last” attitude. But I believe how well we treat others is a directly related to how we treat ourselves – we’ve all got to be in tuned with our innermost feelings and give ourselves the due respect in order to bring our relationships with other people to a whole new level. After all, it’s only when we become people of substance can our be giving and enlightening to the people around us, and part of becoming a person of substance is to know thyself.
It’s been an inspiration on my personal development and continual quest (and zest) for life and its wondrous adventures.
So now, how well are do you treat yourself?