1. How about never? Is never good for you?
2. I see you’ve set aside a special time to humiliate yourself in public
3. I’ll try to be nice if you try to be smarter
4. I’m out of my mind – feel free to leave a message
5. I can see your point, but that doesn’t mean I care
6. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid
7. You are validating my inherent mistrusts of strangers
8. I am already visualising duct tape over your mouth
9. I will always cherish the original misconceptions I had about oyu
10. Thank you, we are all pleasantly challenged by your input
11. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist
12. Any connection between your reality and ours is completely coincidental
13. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant
14. It’s a thankless job, but I have a lot of Karma to burn off.
15. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are larely ceremonial.
16. No, my powers can only be used for good.
17. Do I look like a people person?
18. You… Off my planet!
19. Errors have been made, who should I blame?
20. Whatever look you were trying for, you missed.
21. Shhhh. I’m trying to imagine you as interesting
22. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
23. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
24. Sarcasm is one of the many services we offer here.