Leading Competently with the Language of Leadership September 26, 2009
Posted by Gary in Dealing with People, Lessons in Leadership, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.add a comment

The role of a leader is to lead. Sounds like a no-brainer huh? What is a leader if nobody chooses to follow him?
I was once told by my platoon commander when I was serving the Singapore Armed Forces that “the biggest fear a leader is to look over his shoulders and realise that nobody is following him”.
That day was the last day I left the camp and green uniform behind. But the words have stuck with me since.
In essence, it truly highlights the principle that “A Leader is only a Leader when there are people Following him”, and that a Leader is nothing without without his followers and supporters.
That begs the second question then: Why do people follow anyone else?
There are several reasons for this. But without going too deep into philosophy and/or sociology, I think that people generally follow somebody else’s lead because it is perceived that the everybody can get the job done in a better fashion.
Mind you, this does not naturally mean that the hearts and mind of the people are won and that they would follow somebody wholeheartedly. Seldom do we see something like that happen.
The power of leadership may come as a “natural endowment”, ie, people vest their trust and loyalty upon a leader voluntarily. Others may come as a form of “vested authority”, ie, authority is delegated and the leader is appointed. In effect, you can interpret it as empowerment through democracy and/or authoritative means. Each method has its merits and I won’t go into detail about that.
Yet, like it or not, a leader has to be able to wield an appropriate degree of the various leadership tools that are of both “democratic” and “authoritative” nature from time to time to get their work done.
Having worked with a fair deal of people of who were stepping into leadership roles without extensive experience of handling mega projects prior to their latest appointments, I had a quite a good time observing the similarities and differences that lie behind what makes a competent and experienced leader.
The way they communicate is one such difference. Here are some communication principles that separate competent leaders from inexperienced ones:
iImpressed @ iPresent 2009 August 8, 2009
Posted by Gary in Events & Experiences, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.2 comments

iPresent 2009
The bustling streets, fervor activity. I’ve long heard about their friendliness, sincerity and enthusiasm at learning. But none had really prepared me for the scenes I was to see, yet alone be part of.
I’m of course, talking about my latest training adventure at Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.
Organised by a team of passionate and dedicated Vietnamese students, the iPresent,iLead workshop was incepted to address the mismatch of skills between young graduates and the demands of fast changing Vietnam labor market. Communication and presentation skills (hence iPresent) was identified as one of the key areas that they sought to shore up.
And boy did we have fun… training, I mean *winks*.
Over two days, two hundred students walked through the gates of the Ho Chi Minh University of Economics to gather skills on How to Overcome their Fears of Public Speaking, How to Craft an Impactful Speech, and How to Make Body Language Work For You. (more…)
5 Essential Principles You Must Know For Success on Stage July 3, 2009
Posted by Gary in Coaching, Events & Experiences, Personal Development, PowerPoint & Presentation, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections, Values and Beliefs.Tags: Coaching
1 comment so far

Courtesy of Flikr and "the monk"
I was coaching a friend on public speaking a couple of weeks back when we were addressing about her public speaking anxiety. In her own words, her mind would go blank, she’d freeze and get paralyzed, and she’d suffer from panic attacks thinking about her impending doom… erm… I mean presentation *winks* for weeks to come.
Sounds familiar?
Anyway, we were talking and analyzing her anxiety attacks when it dawned upon me that she held several misconceptions and “displaced faith” towards public speaking.
Now let me clarify, she’s an educated, insightful intelligent and hardworking individual who knows what she wants and what she’s doing. The only problem is that she’s been so active at avoiding speaking up for so long now that she’s forgotten how speak!
In fact, I even remarked (to her) that she has been doing a great job at whatever she’s been doing for the past couple of years! Just think about it – She’s been so successful hiding, she’s successfully taught herself to run away from speaking!
Still, more importantly, the insights and concerns she shared with me about her fear, however, helped me crystallize some of the major lessons I’ve learned about public speaking and the concept of fear! And I thought it would be great to share them with you too!
So here it goes: (more…)
The Importance of Communication – An Interview with NUS Students October 11, 2008
Posted by Gary in Dealing with People, Events & Experiences, Personal Development, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.2 comments

Miscommunication
Two weeks back, I received an interview request from a group of friends who were working on a project concerning “miscommunication in the workplace”. They were keen on examining the concept of “effective communication” and “miscommunication” and gather some practical tips which students can use to enhance their ability to communicate.
I thought the questions my friends were asking would make an interesting topic for discussion. After all, we do know the dangers of communication – but how prevalent is it, and how can we avoid it? Well, that’s food for thought, and it’s the topic for today’s post! Read on! (more…)
Time and Effort Does Make a Difference September 15, 2008
Posted by Gary in Hope & Inspiration, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections, Values and Beliefs.add a comment
I used to laugh at him when I heard him speak in school – because he didn’t know how to.
But today – I’m impressed
It’s been close to 5 years since we last met in school. We’d been to the same schools for close to 6 years. Although we’d been in different classes, we were aware of each others’ presence – mostly because of our small cohort sizes. But she heard me speak – in public – mainly because of the time when I was tasked to appeal to the entire school – on stage – for donations for the less privileged.
She laughed at me. Or so she said.
I can’t remember – I can’t even remember what I said! I was that nervous. And I’m glad I survived that experience relatively unscathed. That’ll probably explain why I can’t remember a single thing now – because I was more interested in getting down the podium than on my message!
Speaking of stage fright!
Yet, 4 years on things things have changed.
No longer was the laughter the reaction of ridicule – it was the result of the execution of the game plan. The applause was given then not because I was about to leave the stage – but because I’d been on stage… and I noted then the vast difference that time and effort in training makes.
* * *
Ever wondered if the time and effort you put into an activity is worth it? I have. All the time!
Yet, I think every venture requires a little bit of faith and a lot of perseverance: faith to take the first step and both to help you pull through when times are tough.
For everyone who struggled or are struggling in various stages in life, or are in the process of taming those dragons in your public speaking adventure, remember this:
Your investment of time and effort is worth it!
And in the words of the 1999 World Champion of Public Speaking, Craig Valentine puts it: The very people who put you down, will be amongst the first to pat you on your back when you make it.
Keep the faith. Your time and effort will be worth it.
NUS COMMENCEMENT 2008! July 30, 2008
Posted by Gary in Events & Experiences, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.3 comments

The National University Of Singapore (NUS)’s convocation ceremony, commonly known as the Commencement ceremony, was held from 7th – 15th of July 2008, at the NUS University Cultural Centre.
To say that it was an amazing experience wouldn’t really do it much justice – especially for me and my group of friends. Before you even begin your well wishes and congratulations, I’d like to clarify first that I wasn’t among the list of proud graduates this year! Rather, I was amongst a handful of privileged presenters selected from a list of 200 to host the event’s Pre-Ceremony Show!
Yes, it was an immensely exciting and exhilarating experience, for it was the first time the 5 of us had ever worked before a camera and present a show LIVE on air.
Personally, I felt that speaking before a camera during the LIVE Show opened up a whole new spectrum of challenges where public speaking is concerned. One of it, of course, would be handling the stresses that surround you as you are required to deal and react to the flurry of activity that’s happening before you – off camera. Not only do you have to keep a lid on your own nervousness, you are also required to react as calmly and as composed as possible in reaction to changes in programme etc.
Perhaps, another challenge of doing a live show would be dealing with that fact that every little thing you’re doing would be recorded on camera and beamed to over hundreds, if not thousands of viewers seated in the hall or in the comfort of their homes over the internet.
Of course, these challenges are not exhaustive, and you could say that we asked for it when we sent in our applications and auditioned for it! Still, this was a great learning experience – and to share with you more about it, I’ve invited one of my co-hosts from the event to share some of his experience gained from working on the set.
Here’s what he has got to share:
So Anand, tell us a little something about yourself

I’m a fourth year honours undergraduate in the Faculty of Engineering at the National University of Singapore. I’ve been hosting/emceeing since JC days and I was part of my school’s debating team in secondary school. I love to explore the artistic arena and am involved in NUS drama productions as a dancer.
In addition, I’ve done a music video for a variety program for Vasantham Central in 2007. I always admire hosts and emcees as they are the ones who control the flow of events with the mic and I always learn from the experience of others.
What made you apply/try out for the position of Live Presenter for NUS Commencement 2008?
I always like to try out new stuff and love challenges. I was having loads of free time on my cards during the summer holidays and saw a good opportunity to gain further experience in the hosting arena.
Was it your first time presenting a live show? How was the experience like when you first started?
Yes! It was exciting and fun! I’ve done recorded programs before but to go on air live knowing that any errors will not be able to be cut out adds pressure to be cautious but I guess I was cool and composed to handle the pressure.
What were some problems you encountered during the live shows & how did you overcome them?
One problem I would definitely like to mention is remembering so many names, the honours terms, the professors names and who to turn the next item to on air. I learnt the art of remembering certain names and I always looked through the script before going on air. In addition, I chat with the interviewee prior to going on air just to make sure I got the names right. It was indeed fun!

How did the sessions become easier as the days went by?
It definitely becomes easier and so comfortable as you know what to do and what to expect and the events juz keeps flowing…Once u pick up the trick of the trade, ya sure to do well!
What were some of the learning lessons gained from this experience?
Firstly, you have to make the interviewee feel comfortable and at ease. Coz, once they get nervous, they tend to blabber or rather go blank. I speak to them as a friend prior to the live show and make them feel relaxed and joke with them. Secondly, I learnt to be prepared for the unexpected. For example, at the last minute while interviewing a graduate on air, I was told to interview a alumni graduate thereafter . So it really helps to be prepared mentally and with the questions up in your mind! Thirdly, the producer and video crew are your good friends. They will prompt you on the spot with cues to assist you in presenting the right names if needed and they make you look good on screen!
Tell us what was the most memorable experience you’d gotten from hosting the pre show?
The whole experience is memorable itself! It’s a great pleasure to share in the joy of the graduating students and their parents. Their aura of happiness rubs onto me. It is also great to meet talented fellow presenters and good friends in the backstage crew. The experience rocks!
Do you have any words of advice/encouragement to share with those who are afraid of speaking up in public?
Speaking in public might look difficult initially due to the many eyes on you. But, fret not and believe in yourself! That’s the key to public speaking. Be confident of yourself and know what you wana say. U are the King/Queen once you get hold of the mic! Speaking in public is an art that gets better with experience!
Bonus: Do you have anything else to share?
You will never be able to know what ya capable of unless you try it out and experience it yourself! Spread ya wings and embrace opportunities. You will truly value the experience juz like I did! Carpe Diem! Cheers!
- – - – - – - – - – -
Anand is also a free-lance host and he may be contacted at the following:
E-mail: papadamburger@hotmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=896550631
Related Posts:
Effective Emceeing
Viva Victoria! – VJC Public Speaking Bootcamp July 15, 2008
Posted by Gary in Events & Experiences, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.3 comments

It’s been over a month now… yet I still can’t get them out of my head! I’m referring to the vivacious students from Victoria Junior College!
You see, I was given the unique opportunity to conduct the 2 day public speaking bootcamp for the group of pre-university students, and it was a blast spending time with everyone at the Singapore Management University (SMU)!
I was immensely impressed with the group’s desire to learn and better themselves (more…)
Miscommunication: When “You’re Wrong” Actually Means “You’re Right!” June 25, 2008
Posted by Gary in Dealing with People, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.add a comment

I was sharing a meal with a couple a few days back and I got to witness a hilarious spectacle – they were arguing with each other. And it all began with the word “No.”
Alright… it didn’t really begin with the word “No”. But it was the word that sparked the argument between men and wife when everything really began as an one-sided explanation to a third party (me).
You see, Denise was explaining to me some of her concerns she had about an employee of hers. Unable to comprehend her motivation for some of her actions and decisions, I enquired further. However, much of the subsequent explanation and elaboration failed to enlighten me. That was when her husband attempted to make things clearer… (more…)
The Power of Personality! April 23, 2008
Posted by Gary in Image and Impressions, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Values and Beliefs, Videos & Podcast.add a comment

Oh dear me! I’d never thought I’d see such an example of personality on stage! And I’m glad I did!
You see, I’m not a big fan of television (amazing, considering how we used to be inseparable when I was younger), but as fate would have it, I switched it on today just in time to catch the latest episode of American Idol on tv! Now, I’m not a big fan of the series either. I’ve nothing against it, I’m just not glued to it. But, I’m so glad that I’d managed to chance upon it today – simply because of the example I want to show you pertaining to the power of personality on stage!
Yes! That episode got me so excited that I’ve decided to blog about it now (whilst I’m still in the middle of preparing for my examinations…)!
Alright, enough preliminaries! Here’s a quick lowdown of the episode to give you a little more information about what I’m all excited about: (more…)
Mom’s Lesson #7 – Love + Sacrifce April 13, 2008
Posted by Gary in Dealing with People, Hope & Inspiration, Personal Development, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.1 comment so far
I could still remember the days. It was dark, cold, and I was sweaty. My bed was soaked with perspiration and the room was warm and stuffy. More often than not, I’d be running a temperature, and I’d be feeling miserable. There, as I tossed, turned and drifted in shallow sleep, the ceilings lights were flicked on.
Then as I lay there in misery, a calm and soothing voice would rouse me from my hollowed sleep, saying, “It’s time to have your medicine, boy”.
A spoonful of cough mixture, a handful of tablets, and a glass of water were the normal concoction of ‘potions’ that often greet me in the dead of night. Slowly, gently, they were fed into my hands, for me to toss into my mouth, before I wade back to dream… at 3am in the morning.
At 5 years old, I didn’t know it but my Mom was teaching me the biggest lesson of my life. (more…)
Mom’s Lesson #6 – Go Forth, and Explore! As Long as It’s Good for You April 4, 2008
Posted by Gary in Hope & Inspiration, Personal Development, The Shy Speakers' Guide.1 comment so far
Those of you who read my earlier post would have realised by now that I’m not one who really fancies studying. One of the reasons for my disinterest really has got to do with the standards set my brother, really. After a few years of trying, and the with the lure of Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Command and Conquer, I eventually succumbed to the temptations of procrastination, recreation and procrastination. Things weren’t very rosy back then.
Yet, whatever I lacked academically, I’d excelled activitically (is there even such a word?!). Yet, through it all, my mom never stopped me from pursuing and exploring my interest and activities which she thought would do me good. (more…)
Mom’s Lesson #5 – Just do Your Best March 29, 2008
Posted by Gary in Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.add a comment
As a student, studying was probably the activity that I least enjoyed (then again, I guess that pretty much applies to everyone too). The television was my best friend when I was in primary school. That black box of animation, movement and sound was my best friend in the house! We were practically inseparable. Well, I exaggerate. I did possess enough self control to peel my eyes of the television… but in most cases it was because the cartoons had ended, and I decided to play with my toys and transformers figures.
My abject indiscipline where studying was concerned often had Mum up in arms. (more…)
Public Speaking Boot Camp with Yuan Ching Sec February 17, 2008
Posted by Gary in Communicating with Children, Events & Experiences, Personal Development, Public Speaking, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Thoughts and Reflections.add a comment
I had recently concluded a successful training session with the Students from Yuan Ching Secondary School.
And how did it go?
Well, let’s just say that it was… absolutely BRILLIANT!
I must say that this workshop was probably one of the best training experiences I’ve ever had in my career so . The students were simply phenomenal! I loved their energy, enthusiasm and eagerness to learn and participate!
It was simply amazing!
Here are some memories taken from the Public Speaking Boot Camp!
Yuan Ching Secondary – The Super Fun Group!





It’s memories and experiences like that these that make training all these students worth it. Nothing beats training to make a positive difference! Talk about job satisfaction!
Well, here’s a big THANK YOU to all the boot camp participants from Yuan Ching Secondary School! You guys have certainly made a difference to my life too!
But remember – The Best is Yet to Come!
What Lies in a Spark? January 18, 2008
Posted by Gary in Communicating with Children, Personal Development, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Toastmasters, Values and Beliefs.add a comment

What lies in a spark? That tiny, insignificant burst of energy. That little glimmer of light that flashes and lasts for that split second. What good does it make? And what power does it have?
It’s just an insignificant spark.
Or is it? (more…)
Hook, Line, and Sinker! Your Guide to Creating Interesting Introductions When Meeting New People! November 21, 2007
Posted by Gary in Dealing with People, Networking & Small Talk, Personal Development, The Shy Speakers' Guide, Values and Beliefs.1 comment so far
Has this ever happened to you before?
You walk into a party/meeting… you see a couple of people. None of which you’ve ever met before.
Alone.
You’ve two choices. Strike up a conversation. Or stand at a corner and shroud into oblivion.
Then again, I guess you might very well choose to seek out the person who invited you over first, then proceed with one of the two choices.
Then that’s where it happened. The questions start coming in:
How are you going to start? What are you going to say? And how are you going to keep the conversation going?
Initiating conversations, and keeping them going are probably some of the biggest challenges that people face when it comes to meeting new people. And one of the key concerns that most people have when it comes to striking conversations is maintaining the initiating and maintaining a high level of interest throughout the conversation. That, and attempting to leave a positive and deep impression on the new friends you meet.
How exactly do we strike up conversations that intrigue, interest and leave a deep impression on on the people we just meet? (more…)
